#OUaTrevisit: S5:E3/4

Note: As previously mentioned, this will now be the canonical home of my #OUaTrevisit posts. I’ll continue posting these to my Mastodon account, and linking to my fellow Revisitors Katie’s and Cindy’s posts on their respective platforms.

Greetings, worthy Knights! It’s Wednesday in Camelot and that means it’s time for another Once Upon A Time Revisit (#OUaTrevisit) with Katie and Cindy and me. We originally started this on Twitter, but, well, you know.

This week, we’re on to season five, episodes three and four. In one parallel storyline, our heroes are in Camelot, trying to get Merlin out of a tree (?) to get him to remove the Dark One’s magic from Emma. Or something like that. In the other storyline, we’re back in Storybrooke, six weeks later, and everyone has lost their recent memories (again).

S5:E3 Siege Perilous

“David and Arthur embark on a heroic quest.”
Airdate: October 11, 2015

• “an heroic” surely?
• Dwarfs whistling!
• What does Dark Emma want with Happy’s axe?
• Emma could wiggle her nose!

• “Madame Savior”
• Oh good, the Forest of Eternal Night.
• Great, these two will get on super well I’m sure.
• “Dwarfs are your department”

• Yes, David, you’re pointless.
• Reliquary, the new alternative social network.
• Who could the hero be?
• Zelena, mute-singing like a mermaid.

• Good Regina is really throwing the evil around with Zelena.
• I’m naming my office chair the Siege Perilous.
• Most of the stuff is gone. This guy obviously did it.
• “I know how to use a phone, Hook.”
• Killian’s simple love life with the Dark Swan, who calls in to-go orders. What was that call like? Did she DoorDash it? Does Uber Eats even deliver to Storybrooke?

• Grilled cheese sandwiches, onion rings, breadsticks, and wine. The Dark Swan isn’t into protein or veggies.
• Oh good an archery tournament.
• That’s the bridge on Tom Sawyer’s Island.
• Next question: what lives in the swamp?
• Right, someone’s gonna come in to pawn a magic bean.
• “Doc-tober Fest”
• As expected, it was Grif.
• Arthur can drive?
• I hope David brought a bag of sand.

• Going straight for the hard questions.
• Dark Emma and Killian? Sure, why not.
• It’s gonna take days to dry out that armor.
• Did Arthur pick David’s pocket?
• (thunk)
• Badger badger badger mushroom mushroom

• Wow, that’s a lot of bling on David.
• Arthur trusts David, but David is lying to Arthur (about the identity of the Savior). Typical.
• I bet they have a falling out in the missing time.
• Arthur is a villain?
• Ah, Arthur did get the mushroom from David.
• Oof. Grif’s gonna die.
• Poison from Agrabah!

• It didn’t just kill him, it disappeared him.
• Granny’s still gonna charge you for the plate.
• Gold is going to be the hero?!

S5:E4 Broken Kingdom

“King Arthur may be hiding his true intentions.”
Airdate: October 18, 2015

• MAY be? Eh, I’m sure it’s fine. (RIP Grif)
• Tween Arthur is coming on pretty strong.
• What will you tell the people? He’ll lie to them, just like everyone else lies on this show.
• (It’s only a model) (shh)

• David’s like “oh yeah I’ve seen that…around…”
• The dreamcatchers aren’t going to be enough to stop the dark powers, unfortunately.
• Or they could just not have a council in her room.
• Regina’s look in this scene!

• MM is taking David apart and it’s about time.
• ⭐️👁🌞
• Arthur is so typical.
• Oh brother, David, you pick NOW to finally be honest?
• Won’t it find Guin’s biggest weakness though? How did she tell the gauntlet to focus on Arthur?
• Oil, that is. Black gold. Texas tea.

• (It’s only a green screen) (shh)
• David is once again doing the wrong thing. But MM outwitted him. (not difficult)
• In a stable?
• “I hope you’re ready to get your heart racing”
• Fairly personal question, MM.
• That’s a portal. To where? Looks like Wonderland.
• “Assuming that’s still what you want…”
• How many Emmys did Carlyle win for this performance? All of them, I hope.
• The sand “fixes” anything? Even broken relationships?
• The kingdom doesn’t even exist, wow.
• “She’s not coming.” I can’t adequately convey Ginnifer Goodwin’s perfect tone of voice from that line.

• What is Killian’s plan though?
• “A blade that can stand up to Granny’s meatloaf.”
• Guinevere of course is still under the spell of the sand.
• Merida!
• Shouldn’t Regina see that David and MM are under a spell?
• Poppies will put them to sleep.
• “I need you to make him Brave, which is also the title of the movie in theaters now, please go see it.”