#OUaTrevisit: S6:E1/2

This will be posted to my Mastodon account; don’t forget to read my fellow Revisitors Katie’s and Cindy’s posts too!

We’re back in Storybrooke after a month away. Let’s get to the Revisit!

S6:E1 The Savior

“Regina and Zelena embrace their newfound sisterhood.”
Airdate: September 25, 2016

• Is that the magic carpet? Are we getting Aladdin? Is that Jafar shooting magical bolts?
• IS THAT ODED FEHR??

Any show is automatically improved by adding Oded Fehr.

• “It took becoming a hero for you to completely come apart.”
• Awkward kissing. Is this a kissing movie?
• Oh no, it’s a spy balloon! Wait, strike that, just a magic dirigible.

Scratch one Untold Story.

• Who is this jerk to walk up and claim the town for his own?
• So, randos from another realm are coming in to wreak havoc. Again.
• I can’t get through Jekyll’s speeches without falling asleep. And Hyde’s voice characterization is so over the top.
• Emma! You know not to keep secrets!
• Meanwhile, Extra Dark Rumple is on a quest. And why is he so CGI’d in the face?
• That guy is a Metron if I’ve ever seen one.

A Metron at the Metreon. Photo illustration by me.

• Frazzled mom Zelena is funny in a seventies sitcom kind of way.
• A magic Taser? (Looking back, I see I made the same point last month.)
• I’m altering the deal.

Deals with Rumple tend to be pretty one-sided.

• Emma’s hands are shaking; she’s lost the flow. Also, Charlie Cale seems to have a much better handle on the lie-detector superpower than Emma ever did.

Ah, just one more thing…

• Archie! Pongo! We haven’t seen you in like three seasons!
• Archie Cricket, wandering psychoanalyst.
• No, show, you will not make me interested in grumbly voice Hyde.
• “Follow the red bird,” what’s that about?’
• Not the Red Room!

Where we’re from, the birds sing a pretty song.

• “Are you willing to lie to her?” That’s literally all he does, of course he’ll be willing.
• Belle’s provincial-town costume is better than the first times we saw it back in the early seasons.
• “I thought it would take weeks and weeks of battles and twists and turns” — so did we.
• What’s wrong with Regina? Why is she rejecting Zelena?
• Hook: “I could use some food and shelter right about now, by which I mean let’s make out.”
• Emma: “I’m not avoiding you, I just want you to leave.”
• Regina seems to have lost quite a bit of her power. I wonder if she’ll get it back.
• Henry: “When a hero’s story is over, there’s a special place for them. And it’s now streaming on Disney+.”

(Waiting for the next Mandalorian episode to drop)

• I’m not buying this guy, supposedly Belle/Rumple’s son, at all. Nope.
• Is that the Apprentice’s wand that RumpleGold is wielding?
• She was once an Oracle. Now she’s just a sales force.

Sorry

• Just rolled my eyes so hard at Mister Hyde and his dramatic pronouncing. I hope at least he’s only a half-season villain. He’s so one-note, even the other characters are already bored with him.
• I love that Regina and Snow have figured it out between themselves, finally.
• And now here’s Evil Regina with appletinis.

S6:E2 A Bitter Draught

“Emma divulges her ominous premonition to Archie.”
Airdate: October 2, 2016

• The vault. Which is sealed with blood magic, meaning Evil Regina can waltz right in.
• “Delightfully malevolent” sounds like a new Ben & Jerry’s flavor.
• Why are the Three Musketeers coming from the Land of Untold Stories? Their story is definitely not untold.

Best version?

• Tepid applause at Regina’s speech.
• MC: Monte Cristo.
• Way to put a downer on the party, dude.
• Regina’s Regency outfit here: 🔥
• Thanks, Granny, for the eggy bread joke.
• Emma’s vision-enemy shops at Dark One’s Warehouse.

Until they turf him out, I guess.

• One thing with therapy is you kind of have to not leave the room.
• Hey, it’s Leroy! Does something need announcing?
• Edmond seems to have some insta-vanish power. But of course, the Count of Monte Cristo was historically a powerful wizard. 😐
• Oh no, not again. The town line is walled off. Surprise!
• Zelena protests so quickly. Regina should have noticed.
• The Agrabahn Viper venom is what Evil Queenie used to kill Snow’s father, I think.

The CGI de-aging in this scene was distracting.

• I don’t remember Rumple putting a protection spell on the Charmings?
• Evil Regina in seduction mode is…quite convincing. But what was the coin about?
• Whatever, Edmond. “It’s your eyes again.” Not the best line ever, is all I’m saying.
• Right, Rumple’s long-term plan — the plan of a clairvoyant — calls for Emma to be born and eventually become the Savior. We need to be reminded of this occasionally since the writers seem to only remember about once per season.
• Mayor Regina sword-fighting in her business suit and sensible shoes.

• “This is the way.”
• The sword went right through his heart…or where it would be if he had one. I feel like this is not the end of Edmond.
• Eh, killing an attacker in self-defense shouldn’t cause any darkness.
• Too many secrets.

SeTec Astronomy

• Yes, I agree we’re suffering from sequelitis at this point, Henry.
• Evil Regina as a babysitter is kind of sweet, actually.
• I think Jennifer Morrison might have been pregnant during the filming of season six, just based on the shot framing and the blousy tops.

Finally, as a bonus for those of you who waited patiently through our monthlong hiatus, I asked ChatGPT to review the first two episodes of season six. And this is what it said:

As an avid fan of the hit television series “Once Upon A Time,” I was extremely disappointed by the lackluster start of season six in episodes one and two. After eagerly awaiting the return of my favorite characters, the sloppy writing and lack of coherent plot left me feeling underwhelmed and unsatisfied.

One of the most disappointing aspects of these episodes was the lack of character development. Instead of building upon the rich history of our beloved heroes, the writers introduced a multitude of new characters without properly introducing or explaining them. This made it difficult to invest emotionally in the story, leaving me feeling detached from the plot.

Additionally, the pacing of the episodes felt rushed and disjointed. The plot twists came too quickly and lacked the necessary build-up, leaving me feeling confused and disoriented. Overall, I was left feeling let down by the season six premiere of Once Upon A Time, and I hope that the show’s creators can work to recapture the magic that made this series so compelling in the first place.

At this point, I’m almost willing to give ChatGPT the job of watching the rest. Almost.